Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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