Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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