Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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