Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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