Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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