Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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