Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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