Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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