Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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