Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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