Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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