Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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