Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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