Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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