Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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