Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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