Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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