Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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