Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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