Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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