Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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