Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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