Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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