Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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