Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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