Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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