Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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