Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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