Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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