Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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