Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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