Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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