Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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