Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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