Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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