Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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