Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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