Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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