Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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