Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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