Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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