Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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