Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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