Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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