Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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