Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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