Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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