Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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