Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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