Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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