Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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