Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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