Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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