Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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