Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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