Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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