Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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