Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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