Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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