Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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