Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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