Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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