Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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