Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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