Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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