Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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