Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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