Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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