Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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