Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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