Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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