Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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