Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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