Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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