Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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