Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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