Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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