Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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