Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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