Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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