Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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