Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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