Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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