Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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