Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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