Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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