Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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