Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

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