Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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