Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.

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