Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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