Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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