Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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