"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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