"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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