"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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