"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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