"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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