"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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