"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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