"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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