"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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