"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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