"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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