"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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