"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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