"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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