"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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