"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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