"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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