"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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