"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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