"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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