"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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