"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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