"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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