"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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