"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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