"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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