"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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