"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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