"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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