El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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