El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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