El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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