El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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