El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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