El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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