El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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