El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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