El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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