El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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