El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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