El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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