El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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