El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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