El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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