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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.
I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?
I'm outtie here!
Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
Because of the bark
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Bone appetit!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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The new band called 1023MB.
They haven't had any gigs yet
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.
but enough about Kanye West.
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