Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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