Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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