Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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