Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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