Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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