Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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