Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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