Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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