Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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