Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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