Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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