Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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