Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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