Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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