Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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