Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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