Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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