Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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