Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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