Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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