Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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