Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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