Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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