Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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