Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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