Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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