Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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