Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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