Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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