Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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