Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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