Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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