Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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