H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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