H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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