H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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