H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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