H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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