H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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