H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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