H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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