H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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