H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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