H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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