H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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