H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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