H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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