H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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