H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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