H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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