H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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