H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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