H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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