H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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