H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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