H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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