H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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