H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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