H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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