H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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