H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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