Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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