Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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