Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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