Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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