Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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