Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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