Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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