Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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