Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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