Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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