Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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