Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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