Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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