Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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