Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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