Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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