Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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