Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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