Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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