Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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