Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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