Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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