Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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