Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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