Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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