Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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