Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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