Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A seal walks into a club...
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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