Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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