Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.


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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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