Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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