Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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