Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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