Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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