Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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