Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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