Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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