Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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