Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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