Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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