Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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