Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).


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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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