Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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