Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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