Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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