Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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