Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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