Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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