Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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