Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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