Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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