Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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