Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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