Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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