How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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