How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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