How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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