How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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