How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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