How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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