How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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