How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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