How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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