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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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How do you make a band stand?
Take their chairs away!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?
A scale.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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