How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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