How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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