How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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