How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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