How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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