How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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