How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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