How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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