How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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