How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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