How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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