How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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