How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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