How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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