How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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