How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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