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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?
Beef jerky
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite
He said NaBrO
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Its shadow
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?
O I C U R M T
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
Santa paws!!!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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