How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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