How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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