How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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