How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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