How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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