How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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