How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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