How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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