How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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