How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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