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How are doughnuts and golf alike?
They both have a hole in one!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a messy hippo?
A hippopota-mess
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.
Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Mummies!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?
French Flies.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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