How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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