How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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