How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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