How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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