How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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