How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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