How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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