How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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