How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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