How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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