How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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