How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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