How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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