How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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