How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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