How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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