How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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