How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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