How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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