How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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