How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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