How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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