How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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