How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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