How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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