How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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