How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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