How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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