How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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