How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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