How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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