How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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