How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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