How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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