How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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