How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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