How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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