How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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