How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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