How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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