How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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