How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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