How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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