How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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