How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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