How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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