How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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