How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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