How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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