How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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