How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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