How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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