How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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