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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.
So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A phew.
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