How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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