How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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