How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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