How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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