How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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