How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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