How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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