How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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