How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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