How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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