How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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