How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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