How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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