How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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