How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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