How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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