How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.


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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

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