How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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