How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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