How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.

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