How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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