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How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?
coz Donald ducked
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.
I can hardly contain myself.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?
A jury.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
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