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How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing
but you accidentally say Mother.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?
Night manager at McDonalds
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why are pirates great singers?
They can hit the high C's!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,
it was a shitzu."
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.
I decided to give it a shot!
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