How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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