How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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