How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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