How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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