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How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?
Night manager at McDonalds
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How does a penguin build it's house?
Igloos it together.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?
1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?
Have an ice day!
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What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
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