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How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?
A Flat Miner
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?
It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
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What letter can you drink?
T (tea)
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?
Punch.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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