How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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