How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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