How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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