How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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