How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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