How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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