How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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