How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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