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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?
They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with
but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
When it's full.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?
News briefs.
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