How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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