How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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