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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?
They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?
Sue.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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