How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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