How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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