How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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