How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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