How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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