How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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