How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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