How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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