How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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