How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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