How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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