How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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