How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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