How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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