How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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