How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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