How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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