How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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