How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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