How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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