How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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