How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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