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How can you tell that a train just went by?
It left its tracks.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?
Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code.
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What's the best parting gift?
A comb.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?
Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Which is the most religious cheese?
Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?
A Flat Miner
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
He took them to a pignic.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then
*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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