How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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