How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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