How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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