How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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