How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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