How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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