How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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