How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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