How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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