How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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