How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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