How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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