How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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