How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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