How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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