How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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