How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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