How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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