How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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