How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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