How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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