How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.


GOOD		CRAP

or

How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."


GOOD		CRAP

or

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .


GOOD		CRAP

or

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.


GOOD		CRAP

or

With flood lighting.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Stairs.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Catfish


GOOD		CRAP

or

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna


GOOD		CRAP

or

It was sole destroying.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!


GOOD		CRAP

or