How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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