How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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