How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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