How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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