How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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