How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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