How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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