How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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