How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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