How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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