How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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