How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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