How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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