How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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