How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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