How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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