How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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