How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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