How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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