How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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