How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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