How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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