How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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