How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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