How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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