How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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