How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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