How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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