On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
or
None. There's a primitive for that.
or
One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
or
In a barking lot.
or
He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
or
*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
or
You can count on me!
or
The Presidential Seal.
or
Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
or
Because they don't want to give away their presence.
or