How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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