How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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