How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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