How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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