How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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