How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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