How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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