How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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