How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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