How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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