How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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