How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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