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How did the bubble gum cross the road?
On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why are pirates great singers?
They can hit the high C's!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?
His heart wasn't in it.
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Where do cars go for a swim?
At the carpool!
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What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?
He was board.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?
It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do Santa's elves drink?
Minnesoda.
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