How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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