How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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