How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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