How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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