How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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