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How did the butcher introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?
The players dribble a lot.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?
His heart wasn't in it.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?
By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?
Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
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