How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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