How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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