How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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