How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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