How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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