How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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