How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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