How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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