How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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