How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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