How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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