How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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