How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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