How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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