How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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