How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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