How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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