How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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