How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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