How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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