How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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