How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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