How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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