How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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