How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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