How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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