How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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