How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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