How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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