How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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