How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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