How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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