How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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