How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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