How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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