How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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