How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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