How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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