How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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