How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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