How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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