How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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