How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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