How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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