How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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