How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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