How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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