How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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