How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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