How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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