How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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