How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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