How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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