How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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