How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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