How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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