How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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