How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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