How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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