How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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