How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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