How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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