How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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