How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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