How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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