How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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