How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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