How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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