How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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