How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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