How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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