How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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