How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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