How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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