How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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