How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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