How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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