How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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