How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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