How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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