How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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