How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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