How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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