How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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