How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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