How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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