How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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