How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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