How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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