How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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