How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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