How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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