How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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