How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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