How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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