How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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