How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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