How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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