How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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