How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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