How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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