How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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