How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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