How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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