How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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