How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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