How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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