How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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