How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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