How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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