How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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