How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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