How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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