How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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