How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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