How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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