How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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