How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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