How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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