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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did one cow say to the other?
Mooooooove over
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?
It was in a jam!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
It's a total rip-off.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C
and still be 0k?
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
The police had to comb the area.
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