How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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