How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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