How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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