How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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