How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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