How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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