How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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