How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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