How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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