How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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