How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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