How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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