How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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