How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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