How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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