How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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