How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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