How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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