How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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