How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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