How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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