How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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