How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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