How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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