How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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