How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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