How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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