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How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a mad elephant?
An earthquake.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Hope it's Halloween!!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?
Caerphilly.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,
but I don't want one of them for my husband".
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