How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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