How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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