How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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