How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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