How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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