How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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