How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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