How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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