How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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