How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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