How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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