How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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