How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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