How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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