How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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