How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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