How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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