How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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