How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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