How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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