How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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