How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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