How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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