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How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?
A bed.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
Root position cords.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?
Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?
Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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Where do you get whales weighed?
At the Whale-weigh station.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop.
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