How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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