How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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