How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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