How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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