How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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