How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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