How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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