How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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