How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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