How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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