How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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