How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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