How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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