How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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