How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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