How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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