How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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