How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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