How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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