How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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