How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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