How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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