How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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