How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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