How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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