How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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