How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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