How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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