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How do hair stylists speed up their job?
They take short cuts!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...
all that was left was de brie.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It’s Hans free.
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What does GOP stand for?
Grabs Our Pussy.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?
To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?
Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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