How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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