How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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