How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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