How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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