How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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