How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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