How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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