How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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