How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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