How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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