How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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