How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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