How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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