How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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