How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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