How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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