How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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