How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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