How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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