How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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