How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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