How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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