How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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