How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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