How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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