How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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