How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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