How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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