How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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