How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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