How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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