How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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