How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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