How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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