How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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