How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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