How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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