How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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