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How do hair stylists speed up their job?
They take short cuts!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?
Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?
Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Ant-elopes!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?
Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?
Beef jerky
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Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
Snowflakes.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
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