How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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