How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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