How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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