How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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