How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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