How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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