How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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