How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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