How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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