How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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