How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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