How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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