How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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