How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.


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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?


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