How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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