How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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