How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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