How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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