How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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