How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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