How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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