How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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