How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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