How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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