How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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