How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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