How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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