How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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