How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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