How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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