How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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