How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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