How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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