How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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