How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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