How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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