How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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