How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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