How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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