How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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