How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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