How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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