How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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