How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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