How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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