How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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