How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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