How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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