How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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