How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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