How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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