How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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