How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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