How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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