How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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