How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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