How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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