How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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