How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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