How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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