How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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