How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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