How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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