How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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