How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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