How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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