How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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