How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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