How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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