How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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