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How do Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop.
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Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have machines to do that now.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?
To visit the milky way.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?
Camelflauge
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?
Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?
The Flea Stooges!
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