How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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