How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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