How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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