How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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