How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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