How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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