How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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