How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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