How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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