How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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