How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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