How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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