How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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