How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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