How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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