How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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