How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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