How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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