How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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