How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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