How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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