How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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