How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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