How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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