How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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