How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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