How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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