How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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