How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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