How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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