How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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