How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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