How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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