How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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