How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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