How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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