How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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