How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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