How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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