How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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