How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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