How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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