How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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