How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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