How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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