How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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