How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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