How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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