How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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