How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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