How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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