How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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