How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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