How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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