How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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