How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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