How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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