How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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