How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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