How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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