How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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