How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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