How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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