How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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