How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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