How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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