How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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