How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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