How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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