How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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