How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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