How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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