How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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