How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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