How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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