How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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