How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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