How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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