How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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