How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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