How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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