How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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