How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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