How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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