How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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