How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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