How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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