How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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