How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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