How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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