How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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