How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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