How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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