How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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