How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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