How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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