How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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