How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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