How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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