How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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