How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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