How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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