How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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