How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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