How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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