How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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