How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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