How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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