How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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