How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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