How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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