How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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