How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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