How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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