How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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