How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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