How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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