How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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