How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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