How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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