How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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