How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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