How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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