How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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