How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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