How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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