How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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