How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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