How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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