How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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