How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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