How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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