How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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