How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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