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How do you cut a wave in half?
Use a sea saw.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??
None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
Senator.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?
A swordfish
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What country makes you shiver?
Chile.
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