How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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