How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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