How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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