How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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