How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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