How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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