How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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