How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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