How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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