How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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