How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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