How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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