How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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