How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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