How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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