How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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