How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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