How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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