How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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