How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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