How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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