How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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