How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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