How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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