How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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