How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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