How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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