How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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