How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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