How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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