How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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