How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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