How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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