How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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