How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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