How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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