How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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