How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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