How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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