How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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