How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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