How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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