How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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