How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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