How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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