How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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