How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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