How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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