How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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