How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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