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How do you fix a broken Tuba.
With a tuba glue.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?
2 years old.
Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What does GOP stand for?
Grabs Our Pussy.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?
They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?
None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",
he said "Not you again".
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,
I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?
Slippers!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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