How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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