How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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