How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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