How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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