How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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