How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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