How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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