How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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