How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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