How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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