How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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