How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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