How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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