How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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