How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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