How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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