How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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