How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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