How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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