How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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