How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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