How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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