How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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