How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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