How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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