How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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