How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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