How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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