How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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