How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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