How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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