How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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