How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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