How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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