How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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