How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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