How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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