How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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