How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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