How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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