How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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