How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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