How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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