How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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