How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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