How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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