How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
Canvas not available.

or


What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
Canvas not available.

or


How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
Canvas not available.

or


How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
Canvas not available.

or


Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
Canvas not available.

or


What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
Canvas not available.

or


How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
Canvas not available.

or


What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
Canvas not available.

or


What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
Canvas not available.

or


Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026