How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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