How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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