How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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