How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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