How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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