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How do you fix a broken vegetable?
With tomato paste.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did Bach have so many children?
He did not have a stop on his organ.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?
He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What would you call a humorous knee?
Fun-ny!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?
"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."
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What country makes you shiver?
Chile.
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