How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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