How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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