How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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