How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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