How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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