How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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