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How do you fix a broken vegetable?
With tomato paste.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?
A road hog.
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How did the egg cross the road?
It scrambled across!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,
I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?
Porkchop
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?
coz Donald ducked
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?
A marsbar!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?
Shocked.
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