How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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