How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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