How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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