How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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