How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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