How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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