How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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