How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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