How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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