How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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