How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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