How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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