How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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