How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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