How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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