How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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