How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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