How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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