How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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