How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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