How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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