How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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