How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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