How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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