How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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