How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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