How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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