How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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