How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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