How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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