How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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