How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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