How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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