How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut

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