How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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