How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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