How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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