How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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