How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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