How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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