How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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