How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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