How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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