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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?
Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.
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What did one cow say to the other?
Mooooooove over
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What do you call a messy hippo?
A hippopota-mess
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?
I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?
A buff-a-loan
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What do you get when you plant a frog?
A cr-oak tree.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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