How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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