How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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