How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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