How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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