How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

Canvas not available.

or


Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
Canvas not available.

or


My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

Canvas not available.

or


How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
Canvas not available.

or


What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
Canvas not available.

or


How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Canvas not available.

or


How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
Canvas not available.

or


The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
Canvas not available.

or


A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026