How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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