How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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