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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?
They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?
Every year!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
Silent night!
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?
A cow walking backwards
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