How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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