How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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