How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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