How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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