How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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