How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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