How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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