How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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