How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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