How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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