How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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