How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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