How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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