How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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