How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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