How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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