How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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