How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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