How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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