How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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