How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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