How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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