How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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