How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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