How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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