How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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