How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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