How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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