How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"


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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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