How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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