How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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