How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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