How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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