How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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