How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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