How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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