How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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