How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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