How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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