How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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