How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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