How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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