How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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