How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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