How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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