How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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