How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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