How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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