How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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