How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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