How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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