How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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