How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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