How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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