How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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