How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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