How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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