How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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