How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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