How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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