How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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