How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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