How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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