How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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