How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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