How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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