How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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