How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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