How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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