How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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