How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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