How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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