How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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