How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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