How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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