How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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