How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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