How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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