How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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