How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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