How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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