How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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