How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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