How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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