How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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