How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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