How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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