How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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