How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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