How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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