How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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