How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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