How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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