How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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