How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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