How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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