How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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