How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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