How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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