How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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