How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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