How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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