How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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