How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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