How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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