How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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