How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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