How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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