How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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