How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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