How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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