How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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