How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

One hundred and nine. Seven on the Lightbulb Task Force Sub-committee, who report to the 12 on the Lightbulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Executive Committee of five, who place it on the agenda of the 18-member Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27-member Church Board, who appoint another 12-member review committee. If they recommend that the Church Board proceed, a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business Meeting. They appoint another eight-member review committee. If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of a lightbulb, and the Congregation votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the lightbulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a seven-member committee to find the best price in new lightbulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware is the best buy must then be reviewed by the 23-member Ethics Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no connection to the Disney corporation. They report back to the Trustee Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge of the Janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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