How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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