How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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