How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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