How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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