How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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