How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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