How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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