How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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