How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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