How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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