How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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