How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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