How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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