How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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