How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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