How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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