How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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