How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.


GOOD		CRAP

or

What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]


GOOD		CRAP

or

With a cowculator.


GOOD		CRAP

or

They were sitting on the deck!


GOOD		CRAP

or

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.


GOOD		CRAP

or

The Elfabet.


GOOD		CRAP

or

A woolen jumper


GOOD		CRAP

or

A waist of time!


GOOD		CRAP

or

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.


GOOD		CRAP

or