How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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