How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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