How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.

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