How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.


GOOD		CRAP

or

How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.


GOOD		CRAP

or

He made an illegal ewe turn.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.


GOOD		CRAP

or

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.


GOOD		CRAP

or

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.


GOOD		CRAP

or

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.


GOOD		CRAP

or

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.


GOOD		CRAP

or