How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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