How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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