How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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