How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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