How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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