How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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