How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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