How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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