How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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