How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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