How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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