How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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