How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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