How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."

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