How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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