How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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