How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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