How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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