How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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