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How do you handle dangerous cheese?
Caerphilly.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?
Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen.
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How does a train sneeze?
Ah-choo-choo!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
Separation anxiety.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in humans?
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