How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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