How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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