How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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