How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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