How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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