How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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