How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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