How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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