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How do you handle dangerous cheese?
Caerphilly.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,
it was Wedgie Kray.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.
Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?
Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing
but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??
What's a light bulb?
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?
It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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