How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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