How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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