How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.


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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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