How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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