How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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