How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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