How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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