How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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