How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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