How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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