How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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