How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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