How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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