How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.

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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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