How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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