How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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